Friday, November 6, 2009

Still Waiting.....

I haven't posted in a while, there really has been no new news. I am still waiting for AF to arrive to schedule my polypectomy. I have an appointment at the clinic on Monday to do some bloodwork to try and figure out where I am in my cycle.

AF was supposed to start around 10/30, but I have a feeling I only just ovulated earlier this week. About a week after I stopped all my shots on 10/14, I had light spotting every day for almost two weeks, then it stopped a few days before Halloween, then the next week on Tuesday, Weds, and Thursday I could have sworn I had good quality EWCM, but I felt just like my period was about to start, and now here is Friday and I have nothing, no cramps and dry CM.....Such frustration!

At least this may set my schedule during my off time from school, but only if my stupid AF gets here soon!

Other than that everything is going well. I am plugging along with school, So far I have all A's. I have scheduled my classes for next semester. Now I am just trying to keep my mind off of cycling because the frustration would distract me, and I would get nothing done. My husband and I have joined the gym, so it seems I am always on the go, which is good.

I will update more after Monday's appointment.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

October Icomleavwe

Hello to all the icomleavweers. This is my first time participating, and unfortunately it fell on very busy part of the week. So, I have to make this shorter than I'd like, and I won't be able to do my postings until 2-marrow, as I am swamped with work and to top it off, my internet was out for two hours this morning, which has put me even more behind with work.

Here is how I began my IF adventure

As of today, my first IVF cycle was cancelled last week after 21 day of lupron and two days of follistim, due to an endometrial polyp. Now, I'm waiting for the evil AF to show, so I can schedule another polypectomy and then hopefully begin another cycle of IVF.

I am grateful for everyone's comments, concerns, and well wishes. It has helped me more than you know. It seems whenever I mention IVF to anyone I know, they instantly get quiet and change the subject. Which stinks, because talking about it makes me feel so much better, like I have a voice and people want to hear it. Thank you everyone for that!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Meet my nephew.

This little guy melts my heart. He will be 4 weeks tomorrow. His original due date was 10/16. He is starting to be more aware of things and looking everywhere. He has a beautiful olive skin tone, and he's such a good little boy. I can't wait to seem him grow, but at the same time I'd like him to stay small :) Ironically, he makes me forget all about my IF woes.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Question on AF?

After my cancelled cycle,I'm anxious to figure out estimated dates to try again, but it all hinges on when AF will arrive, and I really have no idea.
So this is a question for the ladies who have had a cancelled cycle or if you do know, please pipe up! I would have asked at the clinic, but I was a bit upset and wasn't thinking clear.

I took 10 IU of lupron for 21 days, starting on september 21st, then took two more days at 5 IU adding in 150 IU of follitism. I stopped all injections on the 14th. My last AF was 10/02, but I'm not sure that matters so much after all the injections. I don't even know if I'm supposed to ovulate. The doc says that af should start at the end of october, but to me this only seems possible if I ovulate by today, given a 14-day luteal phase, but then again, I don't know if I will ovulate because of the drugs!??? arrhhh! I'm so lost!

Any ideas on when I could possible expect AF?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Happy birthday to me!

Well today is my birthday! I'm officially 36 years old, bummer! I really wish I could turn back time, I feel like my ovaries are shriveling away. I used to always be excited about birthdays, I guess I still am a little bit, but it is overshadowed.

Still, I love seeing family on my birthday, and I do get to see and hold my new little nephew...maybe I can claim him all to myself because after all, it is my birthday.

It is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day, and my heart goes out to all who have endured.

I want to thank everybody for their encouraging comments and with the ideas for my paper, which I still have to write.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I went in today for my first monitoring appointment and my unlucky streak struck once more.

I have another polyp. A big ole uterine polyp swinging in my endometrial fluids. Son of a B_____!

This is my second one. I had one removed in 2008. So, now I stop all injections and wait for the wicked AF. Then it is on to a D&C, hopefully in the first week of November, and then start all over again. Big Bummer! Yeah-happy birthday to me!

The waiting will never end. I can see now that I was just born to wait...Six years is not enough time for me..noooo, I must wait for the rest of my life! WTF!

No July baby for me, September maybe.

Good news is that it won't affect the fact that I am using grant money, as long as I complete the cycle by March I should be okay, which is a huge relief, because if I didn't have the grant, there wouldn't be another attempt.

Excuse me while I crawl in a dark hole for a while

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I need ideas, please help!

I don't know whether it is the IVF drugs or what, but I'm at a loss for coming up with something to write my next essay about. So, I'm putting it out there for suggestions. Please help!

I have to write an classification essay. This means I take something and break it down to analyze all its parts. For example, you could analyze friends, breaking down the different types of friends you can have, i.e. work friends, childhood friends, elderly mothering-type friends, or hobby friends.

Another example is different types of dreams; nightmares, dreams that seem too real, recurrent dreams.

I have so much happening right now every time I try to think of something to write about my mind races in circles. If you have any ideas can you please share them. Thanks in advance!