Wednesday, October 21, 2009

October Icomleavwe

Hello to all the icomleavweers. This is my first time participating, and unfortunately it fell on very busy part of the week. So, I have to make this shorter than I'd like, and I won't be able to do my postings until 2-marrow, as I am swamped with work and to top it off, my internet was out for two hours this morning, which has put me even more behind with work.

Here is how I began my IF adventure

As of today, my first IVF cycle was cancelled last week after 21 day of lupron and two days of follistim, due to an endometrial polyp. Now, I'm waiting for the evil AF to show, so I can schedule another polypectomy and then hopefully begin another cycle of IVF.

I am grateful for everyone's comments, concerns, and well wishes. It has helped me more than you know. It seems whenever I mention IVF to anyone I know, they instantly get quiet and change the subject. Which stinks, because talking about it makes me feel so much better, like I have a voice and people want to hear it. Thank you everyone for that!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Meet my nephew.

This little guy melts my heart. He will be 4 weeks tomorrow. His original due date was 10/16. He is starting to be more aware of things and looking everywhere. He has a beautiful olive skin tone, and he's such a good little boy. I can't wait to seem him grow, but at the same time I'd like him to stay small :) Ironically, he makes me forget all about my IF woes.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Question on AF?

After my cancelled cycle,I'm anxious to figure out estimated dates to try again, but it all hinges on when AF will arrive, and I really have no idea.
So this is a question for the ladies who have had a cancelled cycle or if you do know, please pipe up! I would have asked at the clinic, but I was a bit upset and wasn't thinking clear.

I took 10 IU of lupron for 21 days, starting on september 21st, then took two more days at 5 IU adding in 150 IU of follitism. I stopped all injections on the 14th. My last AF was 10/02, but I'm not sure that matters so much after all the injections. I don't even know if I'm supposed to ovulate. The doc says that af should start at the end of october, but to me this only seems possible if I ovulate by today, given a 14-day luteal phase, but then again, I don't know if I will ovulate because of the drugs!??? arrhhh! I'm so lost!

Any ideas on when I could possible expect AF?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Happy birthday to me!

Well today is my birthday! I'm officially 36 years old, bummer! I really wish I could turn back time, I feel like my ovaries are shriveling away. I used to always be excited about birthdays, I guess I still am a little bit, but it is overshadowed.

Still, I love seeing family on my birthday, and I do get to see and hold my new little nephew...maybe I can claim him all to myself because after all, it is my birthday.

It is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day, and my heart goes out to all who have endured.

I want to thank everybody for their encouraging comments and with the ideas for my paper, which I still have to write.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I went in today for my first monitoring appointment and my unlucky streak struck once more.

I have another polyp. A big ole uterine polyp swinging in my endometrial fluids. Son of a B_____!

This is my second one. I had one removed in 2008. So, now I stop all injections and wait for the wicked AF. Then it is on to a D&C, hopefully in the first week of November, and then start all over again. Big Bummer! Yeah-happy birthday to me!

The waiting will never end. I can see now that I was just born to wait...Six years is not enough time for me..noooo, I must wait for the rest of my life! WTF!

No July baby for me, September maybe.

Good news is that it won't affect the fact that I am using grant money, as long as I complete the cycle by March I should be okay, which is a huge relief, because if I didn't have the grant, there wouldn't be another attempt.

Excuse me while I crawl in a dark hole for a while

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I need ideas, please help!

I don't know whether it is the IVF drugs or what, but I'm at a loss for coming up with something to write my next essay about. So, I'm putting it out there for suggestions. Please help!

I have to write an classification essay. This means I take something and break it down to analyze all its parts. For example, you could analyze friends, breaking down the different types of friends you can have, i.e. work friends, childhood friends, elderly mothering-type friends, or hobby friends.

Another example is different types of dreams; nightmares, dreams that seem too real, recurrent dreams.

I have so much happening right now every time I try to think of something to write about my mind races in circles. If you have any ideas can you please share them. Thanks in advance!

I love good weekends!

So this weekend was our 6th anniversary. My parents took us to the Texas Roadhouse in Kingston. It was a really cool place. They had all you could eat peanuts, and you were allowed to throw the shells on the floor. I had fun crunching them into the floor. We were trying to make a pile of shells, like you see in the cartoons, but they didn't want to cooperate, and we wanted to save room for dinner.

I had a ribeye steak smothered with mushrooms and onions, with a laoded baked potatoe and fresh vegetables, and it was delicious. It was cooked just right, tender, and very flavorful, and we had enough to take it home and eat it the next day, and it was still just as good. If you have a Texas Roadhouse restaurant in your area and you like steak, I recommend going. We had to travel about an hour to get there, but it was a pleasant drive.

Then on Sunday hubby took me out shopping for my b-day which is this Thursday. I picked out a stylish wool coat/jacket, it is really warm and I like it a lot. Although, I really wanted a Wii, but I know this is money better spent...there's always x-mas!

I ended the weekend knowing that I start my stims on Monday,(yesterday). So I was in a really good mood.

Monday came and I dropped my lupron to 5 mL and added 150 IU of follitism. It is in a pen, so once it was loaded I jabbed it in without a hitch. On Weds, I go for a monitoring appointment to see how my eggies are growing. I've been trying to eat really well, veggies and fruits, and plenty of water, so I can grow some healthy, quality eggs.

Blog award x2

Thank you Mommy in waiting and Sumer for the blog award!

1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Survey

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your hair? brown
3. Your mother? Sewing
4. Your father? Retired
5. Your favorite food? Cake
6. Your dream last night? nothing
7. Your favorite drink? milk
8. Your dream/goal? motherhood
9. What room are you in? office
10. Your hobby? African Violets
11. Your fear? loneliness
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
13. Where were you last night? Khols
14. Something that you aren’t? selfish
15. Muffins? cranberry-orange
16. Wish list item? Wii
17. Where did you grow up? Grafton
18. Last thing you did? typed
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Your TV? off
21. Your pets? Kitty
22. Friends? Family
23. Your life? Busy
24. Your mood? unpredictable
25. Missing someone? Nana
26. Vehicle? Honda
27. Something you’re not wearing? slippers
28. Your favorite store? Khols
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Saturday
32. Your best friend? Margie
33. One place that I go to over and over? to bed
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? SIL
35. Favorite place to eat? Okinawa

I am awarding this blog award to:
1. Life and Love in the Petri Dish
2. I never thought it made sense anyway
3. Eggcetera
4. You, Me and a Petri
5. Our Someday Family...
6. Ambivalent Womb - Another "fertility challenged" woman's journey

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Lupron suppression check

AF paid me a visit on Friday, so I had my suppression check yesterday. Everything looks good apparaently, and they gave me Follitism 150 iu. The problem is, I didn't start yesterday like I should have. I was told to wait a week and stay on the lupron until then because the doctor will be at a conference the estimated week of my procedures.

I'm a little dissapointed, but I guess it could be worse, like I could have not had this opportunity at all,or it could haven been postponed longer or cancelled all together.

I was kind of hoping my er would have been on the 16th as it would be the day after my birthday, and guess what I always ask for on my birthday? Yup you guessed it, a baby. Although, I can still consider this a present even if it is belated.

The week is already going fast, and we will celebrate our anniversary this weekend, so I'm already busy and the time will fly I'm sure.